... the sleep of reason brings forth monsters
the sodium orange burn of the the warm muggy night made the 3 of us sweat as we drove to all our old local hang-outs. the streets felt lonely and haunted. every corner that we passed by looked murky and desolate. the city knew there were bad intentions in the air and warned its constituants or maybe it was just the calm in the eye of a storm.
we stopped the car on ocean boulevard near the south end of bluff park. the park is basicly a long strip of green grass on a bluff above a long flat beach with a view of the local archipelligo. a set of three artificial oil drilling islands all done up and decorated like something out of a post modern hawaiiana garden catalog. they are officially called the thums islands. after the name of the company that runs them. i always thought its was for how they stuck out.
'do you think we are a bunch of fakes?'
'hell i don't know man. are you?'
'try to focus boys. do you know where is eddie staying at? i've been out of the loop for a while now.'
'if we knew don't you think we would have already gone there and not driven around town for the last 45 minutes?'
'listen dude, if i wanted that kinda shit i'd eat more fiber.'
'i'm out of smokes man.'
'let's hit a liquor store. besides i'm thirsty. c-mon.'
'plus we can get beer!'
'alright you twisted my arm. ABC is up the street. les-go!'
all liquor stores around the world all have that same look. the same blue-green glow that brings down even the greatest of buzz's. in side you always have the same scene. the foreign owner. racks and racks of fat laiden crap that everybody cant get enough of and punk ass kids lurkin around lookin to take something or play video games.
'aint that cheecho?'
'i think it is.'
cheecho was eddie's little brother from orange county, santa ana i think. if he's around then he's talked to eddie, no doubt about it. he's the one thats going to know where he is.
'go get mario at the counter, but be cool. i dont want them to see us. we'll catch em when they come out.'
'aw-ight bet. jus' hang on.'
mike went in and got mario and they both came out and joined me on either side of the door. cheecho and his buddy were young chump wanna-be's. who knows, they might run or pop out thier cell phones and narc us out. teenagers suck in general. especialty cocky, punk ass kids.
cheeco came walking out wearing a sweet black and white valour adidas track suit and lighting his cigarette he and his friend proceeded down the street tward the pier. we walked behind them closely down the street. then i walked out in front of them alone to say hello.
'sup kids? hows it going cheecho? remember me?'
cheecho spins around and starts to bail, but only runs into mike and mario who grab them both and turn them around tward me.
'yo motherfucker, get off me.' his friend was bummed.
'why dont you take a hike buddy? cheecho and i need to have a couple of words.'
'it's cool man, i know these guys. sup d?'
'awight then, later cheecho and fuck you to your friends!' mike jumps up takes off after him. the kid darts off like a scared little rabbit. mike promptly comes backs laughing and shaking his head. 'fuckin' kids man.'
i hated having to do this shit but the night wasnt getting any younger and we needed to sort this issue out 'pronto', as they say in the movies. we all got in the car. cheecho was in shotgun and the boys were in the back fucking around with some magazines or something. we took off south down second street tward belmont shores and the orange county line.
'nice outfit. that must have been pricey.'
'look fool i kow what you want dude. i already know what happened. anyways ...'
'look kid, i just want to find eddie. thats it.'
'you gonna try to fuck him up?'
'it hasnt come up yet.'
'well don't cause he's been cool lately. ever since the bitch took off to go get you losers.'
'jess! uuuggh.' the back seat chimes in.
'he still partyin'?'
'harder than ever.'
'damn this is gonna suck.'
'you said it vato. he aint gonna be too happy to see you either.'
'all that shit aside where is he?'
'he rented a pimp-ass condo over by sunken cities.'
'you mean the spot?'
'yeah, its right there.'
'you mean he's been in the neighborhood of the spot the whole time?'
'yup, hell dude, you can see the spot from there.'
the guys and i all just looked at eachother. this is getting more interesting by the minute. we were getting to the county line so slowed the car down on the seal beach bridge.
'get out and give me your cell and your wallet.'
'what, are you robbin' me?'
'no, just buying us some time. im going to drop these off at the liquor store where we found you at. you can get them back when you get back there.'
'thats gonna take me forever to get there.'
'it should take an hour'
'what? this sucks!'
mike jumped in the front seat flashed the peace sign and shut the door. we chirped the wheels as we did a u-turn and took off north back up tward the spot. the last piece of the puzzle was in place. now its time to see what the picture is.
'are we really gonna drop his wallet off?'
'we dont have time, anyways i think you're missing the point mike. we have bigger fish to fry.'
the car ride there was quiet. all of us where wondering how this was going to go down. as we crossed terminal island and all the dinosaur-like gantry cranes and miles of multi colored containers, i had to ask my self 'is this all over?' part of me hoped it was'nt and that the tie to my friends would last forever but who am i kidding? our bonds these days were shakey at best, but onward we tread.
this time we parked the car on the far side of the spot by the park. a low fog hangs over the grass. its fingers semed to dance across the slabs of misshapened concrete and falling rocks. we jumped over the fence in the back of the park and walked tward the spot. as the three of us walked down the trail we looked back and up at the houses over the spot and who do we see silouetted in a big bay window on the second story of the last condo on the left? a person, i assume, is eddie waving at us from a warm and nicely decorated living room just above us.
'i think we've been spotted.'
listening to ))) the warm covers
Poison Idea - The harder they come
Slapshot - Bigmouth strikes again
... hey mr. DJ put the record on. i wanna dance with my baby
eddie is the key. he has all the cards in his hands. so why would he be so weird about this. did jess have anything on him? i'm sure she did but only the horrible things a girlfrienbd would know. not enough send a man into hiding. i guess we'll find out soon enough.
it's funny. summer is a fickle bitch in southern california. it comes with out notice. barely a hair of difference from spring except the gloom. the june gloom. its a hot hazey vail that hugs the coast during the early summer. it brings summer rain and warm muggy nights ripe with a static charge.
i can feel it on my body. every hair is on end.
the boys, mike and mario, were doing a gig at an extra cool dive bar for some a&r showcase. apparently a couple local bands were hot and they were the mid point dj's for the event. the club lights were rolling around the room cutting lines in the artificial fog when i showed up. all i had do do was follow the noise. right on cue 'bam bam' hits the tables and the dance floor fills in around me. grinding the night away to deep dancehall would be nice but thats not what i'm there for. the sound is getting louder, i'm on the right track.
'sup bruddah?' i had to yell over the beat.
'holy shit! hey, hey, look who it is.' he grabs mike behind him, who turns away from digging in the crates of vinyl.
'ohhhh, snap, kid. where the fuck have you been?'
'well, you know out and about. laying low i guess.'
'you wish it was under better circumstances, huh?'
'oh, so you know.'
'hell, yeah. you play with my money, you play with my emotions.'
'yup, yup, yup...' we all laughed.
'hey why dont you slap on some kraftwerk so we can have a lil talk.'
'sho nuf' computer world slides on the tables and we all go over to a booth.
the strange beat of the song brings me right back to the old days of clubbin and druggin. mario lights a cigarette and settles back in the middle of the booth between mike and i. the boys and i were glad to see eachother but we all knew we had business to take care of.
'we expected you.'
'yeah we heard about this shit a week or two ago, but decided to wait for you.'
'lots of faith that i'd show up?'
'no, we just didnt want to have to kill eddie on our own.'
'what the fuck is up with that?'
'i just got back from talkin' to jess. apparently a lot of drugs.'
'did they spend all that money on fuckin speed or something?' mario looked like he wanted to kill them when he heard that.
'i thought you knew?'
'we knew it fell apart but not why.'
'you hear from andy?'
'nah, he went missing after jess and him split.'
'why did they split?'
'yeah, why? they were set. sup wit dat?'
'i think with all the work drying up and all the time got her in trouble. plus eddie.'
'what a punk!'
'idle hands man.'
'she wants something to do withy her idle hand i got something for her.'
a collective 'oohhhhhhhh!'
'i missed you guys.'
shots followed a bit of reminissing and the good times piled on. we spoke of the past and our lives to date. it was a good feeling. a sort of calm before the storm.
'so what was that thing that andy, lena, and brian made?'
'how can you not know that mike? it was part your money.'
'hey i trust the guy. after we left my area of expertise i was out of it. besides is'nt it obsolete or something?'
'yeah how did that go down?'
'see now, i'm not the only ignorant one.'
i went on tell the tales of internet wealth and folly. those tales are always good.
'ya see, this is what went down. hand me my seven seven, por favor.'
'you got it.'
'after we had gained our ill-gotten gains...'
'yeah, we got that part. ha ha.'
'well, i didnt know the extent of your ignorance. just kidding. he and brian developed the thing that came before mapquest. its problem was that it was good for its time but not the best service. the early company got bought by a larger company and then deemed obsolete in favor of a newer system. the best part was that it was great for a few years. andy got to sell a good product, brian got a shiney gem for his programming resume and lena got to be a UI designer and make the user interface. on top of that they all got payed on the buy-out, wich in turn made us all money from the initial investment. get it?'
'we should have spent it then and never did this shit.'
'well sherlock, hind sight is twenty-twenty.'
'well, we couldnt have seen this happening.' we were all guilty of a lil bit of indulgence.'
'yeah i guess you got a point. don't you think you are covering for a couple of druggy chumps?'
'maybe, but what? you got no loyalty?'
'yeah, but jess is a bitch man.'
'you said it, sorry man, but he's right though. are we gonna go find eddie or what?'
'yeah let's get outta here'
listening to ))) ssoouunnddzz
The T.V. - Gidget
Morbid Opera - Eat the Rich (i dig this band)
Kraftwerk - Computer world
+he crux -xx6
... are you there god? it's me, margaret.
'its all about hiding when it comes to life. hiding from our fears, our destiny, and our student loans.' ~ dc9000
the evening was coming on like a rancid potato salad at the worst event you can think of. the whole story feels wrong. the whole tale a sad, sad sham and all is well in the city. nope, not even. the shit has hit the fan and we were all out of paper towels.
we got in my car and drove away from the spot. the evening lights drown us in the ominous sodium glow of a poor situation. a helpless victim of my own greed and sloth. in that nasty orange light i knew what i had to do. i had to fix this shit. i'd like it to be quick too. not only quick but as easy as possible. oh well. the times for being an observer, possibly the least involved in any of it, are over.
i gotta get gas. the big E on the gas gauge is giving me the stink eye.
the road swallowed us whole and poped us out in seal beach by the old wooden pier. in a cool lil hotel i knew about from years ago. better days under better circumstances, ya know. i miss'em real bad right about now.
*ding ding ~ ding ding* the gas station customer alert system sounds off.
'need help sir?'
'nah, i got it. i'll just use my card.'
'watch 'er she's a bit picky about the cards these days.'
'really? thanks, man.'
'a lil cold for this time of year huh?'
'it is, is'nt it? how's the surf?'
'oh its been nice. 2-5 and glassy. there's no wind in the mornings.'
'well, have a good night.'
'thanks man, i hope i do.' ...i actually did.
the hotel was around the corner. i parked in front of the room. the sea quietly roars in the distance. jess looks like an angel in the moon light. a drug addicted lil troublemaking shit of an angel, but an angel none the less. she feels light as a feather as i carry her back to the room. speed freaks are always the sveltest of the fashionaby thin.
i put her down on the bed in the darkened room and sat down in the chair opposite the open window. she squirmed around a bit on the bed before she truely passed out. i rolled a joint and lit it.
what the fuck? i thought to myself. why am i going out of my way for this chick? i guess i'm not. i'm doing it for the rest of us. or maybe just me. either way it had to be done. it was time to round up the posse and roll on out to mend this situation and put to bed the decade long moron-fest that was this gentleman's agreement.
since andy, lena, and brian were m.i.a. and jen was off in her life of ease and wealth, there were only two cats i could count on. the duo. tweedle dee and jeckle. the boys, mike and mario. i knew where to find them. they would be on the scene where ever that was. they are dj's. thats what they do.
time to get in the car again, grab an LA weekly, and hit the scene. as the seatbelt wrapped itself around me i wondered to mylself 'am i too old for this shit?'
listening to ))) un-mello gold
snl - Two Wild and Crazy Guys
The Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl
Morbid Opera (old school florida p*nk) - Polyester Pigs
[ interm1ssionary p0sition ]
... i'm back and in full effect. let's take a break for a sec for some random sh!t
i seldom just put down the brain and just blog like a normal person and just be me. so that is what i'm doing today. recently i've had a birthday as most of you may know. it was very un eventful, kinda sad in a way. 32 is'nt a ground breaking year. its more of a rest stop on the way to being 40. or maybe it's just me. i probably just need to get laid or something.
last week i took off to the Carolinas, north and south respectively. i was out there to visit my buddy from high school and his kid out in asheville. thats thier house above in the photo. that is some nice country. if you have not been i recommend it. alot of hippies but they are cool. so are the southerners for the most part. good times. us air sucks!
about the story ...
i had fun with the last post. i'm enjoying the whole thing really. i have never really written anything as complex as this. if it is at all. i really hope you are diggin' it. its blogtacular
thanks for showing up. mad props to all the regulars. you know who you are !!!
our c0nf@b -xx5
... all things said and done
the sunset sea sparkles orange and blue as i approach the end of the world. the place where all the magic happened. my home town. the police and roxanne call out to me over the radio. put on the red lights and cool breezes tonight as i make it to the spot.
the spot is a strange place. in the 50's during the all-american 'hey day' of Los Angeles and the rise of the port cities and the glamore status of the california sun, the richest street in town fell in to the ocean after an amazing 9.1 earthquake. it was like some kind of karmic retribution for our sun baked vanity. the best part was that not all the pieces made it down to the sea. some just sank down tward the water and never made it the whole distance. the event created an eerie surreal landscape of miss matched planes and objects. like the ruins of some ancient civilization. the ancient dwellers of the end of the world.
in the distance out on the top of the most dangerous part of the mess, on a piece of grafitti stained asphalt dangling precariously in space sat jess in an old stained burgundy flight jacket and long peasant dress with her ever present hello kitty pink pumas stained from wear. when she turned tward we and waved all the old stories came back and all the tension of the moment was pushed to the back burner. i made my way down the side of the cliff and back up to where she was.
'oh my god, long time no see kidd-o. i thought we were friends?'
'don't be mad.'
'hey, i'm not mad, not right now. its been too long. we were always better as friends anyways'
'thanks, but i'm not sure.' she laughes a little.
'well... aaanyways. hehehe. whats this huge emergency you had me drag my ass down from northern california?'
'i made a huge mistake.'
'what? how? please dont tell me you are at it again. are you off your medication?'
'after andy and i divorced i got all the money and no....'
'WAIT! you got ALL the money? how the fuck could that happen? no offense, but you are one fucked up lady. how could any judge see fit to give that much money to you?'
'after what has happened i don't want it.'
'what did you fuckin do?'
'it's what he did. andy had a pension for some fucked up shit. it wasn't all my fault.'
'was it all that... you know, that stuff?' i said as my face shrank.
'i always knew he dug weird shit but that weird?'
'oh yeah, and with some of the towns strangest people too. do you want me to tell you the whole story?'
'oh please dont. this sucks. this whole thing sucks. save it for a time when i'm really really drunk?'
i sat down on a red curb that had been thrust in to the air with movement of the earth. my knees were shaking and i had to pee. this was really begining to be a bad idea.
'sure. well do you you want to know the real reason im here?'
'oh god do i have to?'
'wait, what did brian and lena do? i'm sure they werent gonna let this just go down. i know they dont like you but...'
'yeah, uh.... about them , brian and lena spit up and took of after the company dissolved. there was some nasty business about a rape charge.'
'oh my god, oh my god. this is sooo fucked up. dont tell me.... was it you?'
'yeah but you werent there he was being a prick and...'
i fall off the curb and roll up in a ball on the floor.
'this is soo wrong. oh my god. you accused him of rape? what the fuck woman? what were you... i dont get it. holy shit. wha... the... wha. uhh?'
'you aren't taking this the way i thought you would.'
'oh my god'
after regaining my composure i get up off the ground, dust myself off and turn to face jess. she's really pissing me off roght now. i really dont know what to do. this whole thing is just spinning down the drain after all this time.
'all we had to do was wait. all we had to do was sit around and shut the fuck up. how could that not happen?'
'please, please let me finish. ok? all we had to do was wait for the company to dissolve and we'd all be sitting here this time next year with a relative ton of cash and the whole world would be none the wiser. brian, lena and andy put a shit load of work in for the rest of us. after we made all that cash so many years ago we all saw them as the best investment. over the years they have increased the pot ten fold! how could you fuck any of them over? do you have no mind? how could you let your fucked up problems fuck them over or the rest of us for that matter? i always stuck up for you, why would you do that?'
'you were not there! it was a weird place, there was alot of coke involved and parties and the kids you left changed, just like did. oh, hang on, what am i saying? you havent changed at all your still a dick!'
'oh no, look, i will choke a bitch especially you right now. i'm trying to help you out.'
'your right, i'm sorry'
'so where is the money and how much did you lose?'
'i dont know, and all of it.'
'you dont even fucking have it. oh god your gonna make me cry.'
jess has a weird look on her face like this wasnt over. like the shit storm was just beginning. i am not sure i have an unbrella big enough for this crap. i brace myself.
'after andy left and the shit got real bad i began to see somebody.'
'dont even say it. dont even fucking say it. that name better not come up.'
'dont do it. my heart cant take it.'
a cold shiver fell over me.
'i gotta pee.'
listening to ))) the roots of creation
Jimmy Cliff - The Rivers of Babylon