Tuesday, June 07, 2005

our c0nf@b -xx5

... all things said and done

the sunset sea sparkles orange and blue as i approach the end of the world. the place where all the magic happened. my home town. the police and roxanne call out to me over the radio. put on the red lights and cool breezes tonight as i make it to the spot.

the spot is a strange place. in the 50's during the all-american 'hey day' of Los Angeles and the rise of the port cities and the glamore status of the california sun, the richest street in town fell in to the ocean after an amazing 9.1 earthquake. it was like some kind of karmic retribution for our sun baked vanity. the best part was that not all the pieces made it down to the sea. some just sank down tward the water and never made it the whole distance. the event created an eerie surreal landscape of miss matched planes and objects. like the ruins of some ancient civilization. the ancient dwellers of the end of the world.

in the distance out on the top of the most dangerous part of the mess, on a piece of grafitti stained asphalt dangling precariously in space sat jess in an old stained burgundy flight jacket and long peasant dress with her ever present hello kitty pink pumas stained from wear. when she turned tward we and waved all the old stories came back and all the tension of the moment was pushed to the back burner. i made my way down the side of the cliff and back up to where she was.

'hey stranger.'
'hey deryke'
'oh my god, long time no see kidd-o. i thought we were friends?'
'don't be mad.'
'hey, i'm not mad, not right now. its been too long. we were always better as friends anyways'
'thanks, but i'm not sure.' she laughes a little.
'well... aaanyways. hehehe. whats this huge emergency you had me drag my ass down from northern california?'
'i made a huge mistake.'
'what? how? please dont tell me you are at it again. are you off your medication?'
'after andy and i divorced i got all the money and no....'
'WAIT! you got ALL the money? how the fuck could that happen? no offense, but you are one fucked up lady. how could any judge see fit to give that much money to you?'
'after what has happened i don't want it.'
'what did you fuckin do?'
'it's what he did. andy had a pension for some fucked up shit. it wasn't all my fault.'
'was it all that... you know, that stuff?' i said as my face shrank.
'i always knew he dug weird shit but that weird?'
'oh yeah, and with some of the towns strangest people too. do you want me to tell you the whole story?'
'oh please dont. this sucks. this whole thing sucks. save it for a time when i'm really really drunk?'

i sat down on a red curb that had been thrust in to the air with movement of the earth. my knees were shaking and i had to pee. this was really begining to be a bad idea.

'sure. well do you you want to know the real reason im here?'
'oh god do i have to?'
'wait, what did brian and lena do? i'm sure they werent gonna let this just go down. i know they dont like you but...'
'yeah, uh.... about them , brian and lena spit up and took of after the company dissolved. there was some nasty business about a rape charge.'
'oh my god, oh my god. this is sooo fucked up. dont tell me.... was it you?'
'yeah but you werent there he was being a prick and...'

i fall off the curb and roll up in a ball on the floor.

'this is soo wrong. oh my god. you accused him of rape? what the fuck woman? what were you... i dont get it. holy shit. wha... the... wha. uhh?'
'you aren't taking this the way i thought you would.'
'oh my god'

after regaining my composure i get up off the ground, dust myself off and turn to face jess. she's really pissing me off roght now. i really dont know what to do. this whole thing is just spinning down the drain after all this time.

'all we had to do was wait. all we had to do was sit around and shut the fuck up. how could that not happen?'
'please, please let me finish. ok? all we had to do was wait for the company to dissolve and we'd all be sitting here this time next year with a relative ton of cash and the whole world would be none the wiser. brian, lena and andy put a shit load of work in for the rest of us. after we made all that cash so many years ago we all saw them as the best investment. over the years they have increased the pot ten fold! how could you fuck any of them over? do you have no mind? how could you let your fucked up problems fuck them over or the rest of us for that matter? i always stuck up for you, why would you do that?'
'you were not there! it was a weird place, there was alot of coke involved and parties and the kids you left changed, just like did. oh, hang on, what am i saying? you havent changed at all your still a dick!'
'oh no, look, i will choke a bitch especially you right now. i'm trying to help you out.'
'your right, i'm sorry'
'so where is the money and how much did you lose?'
'i dont know, and all of it.'
'you dont even fucking have it. oh god your gonna make me cry.'

jess has a weird look on her face like this wasnt over. like the shit storm was just beginning. i am not sure i have an unbrella big enough for this crap. i brace myself.

'after andy left and the shit got real bad i began to see somebody.'
'dont even say it. dont even fucking say it. that name better not come up.'
'it was...'
'dont do it. my heart cant take it.'
'... eddie'

a cold shiver fell over me.

'i gotta pee.'

listening to ))) the roots of creation

Jimmy Cliff - The Rivers of Babylon