Tuesday, March 29, 2005

l1l cr@bs

... hey joe where you goin' with that gun in your hand?

well, i'm not off to kill my old lady, but i am in the midst of a minor dilema. i have recently been alerted as to the circumstances of my sweet demise. it all started on my favorite rock by the beach and as i sat to read my newest copy of art forum (i love the dirty stories.) thats when i felt a pinch on my heel. when i looked down i saw that i was being acosted by a small purple crab.

'why arent you surfing young man?'
'little crab, that is none of your business.'
'are you afraid of the big dark waves?'
'no' i said when in fact i was a bit frightened.
'i doubt that, but in any case you shouldnt be.'
'what do you know little crab? you hide in the rocks clear of the bite of those feroscious beasts.'
'yes but when i was younger than you i lved in the ocean as free as the sardines and i had not a fear in the world.'

that was quite a feat in my opinion for an animal as small and as frail as crab fry.

'why werent you afraid little crab?'
'it was not my destiny. my destiny are these moist wholesome rocks. they were to be my home long before you were born and long before i was even hatched. they are me and i am they.'
'your riddles bug me little crab.'
'as they should young man. someone so foolish should be more open to new ideas because it is obvious you have much to learn.'

i have never met such an arrogant arthropod and on such a beautiful day. you meet the strangest people here in san pedro. its probably the water. OUCH. i felt a sharp jab on my heel.

'pay attention, young blood, i have something to tell you.'
'what is it? a new recipe for crab cakes?' i said sarcasticly.
'thats not funny nor is it my destiny to be your lunch.'

the small crab goes on about preening his rocks while he gets to his point.

'you shouldnt be afraid of those waves. those wave cannot kill you. it is not thier intention to do you in, besides that is not how you go. when you pass on it will be quiet and sweet. you will be in the company of all of your family, friends and children. even i shall be there.'
'how does a tiny purple crab know all of this?'
'sometimes things are not as they seem deryke.'
'and how do you know my name?'
'i know many things but, thats not all YOU need to know.'

just then a big wave came and knocked me off the rock i was sitting on. it swept away my shoes and took my magazine out to sea. i regained my balance on my rock and said...

'wow, crab are you sure about those waves?' i heard nothing.
'lil crab where are you?' still nothing.

i walked the beach for hour to find that lil crab with no luck. as i walked back to my lonely apartment and my solemn life i wonder about the crab and longed to know the rest of his story. on the way home i stopped to get another copy of my magazine. at the newstand i met the sweetest girl.

'that will be four fifty.'

i reach for my wallet but it is not there.

'i'm sorry i lost my wallet in the ocean just this afterrnoon.'
'don't worry i saved five extra dollars just for this ocasion.'
'here you go.'
'thank you very much, but...'
'you look down. have you lost a friend?'
'no, just a crab. well, maybe i did i'm not sure.'
'do you need any help finding him?'
'no. he'll find me i'm sure.'
'he seems very clever.'
'he may very well be.'
'well, deryke, i'll see you around. i may even marry you.'
'huh? how do you now my name?'
'a little shrimp told me. funny huh? he also told me that his friend said i would meet you today and marry you in the future and our children will be bright and sweet. do you believe me?'

... a moment of lovely silence.

'i dont doubt that at all and i guess you will be seeing me around. little creatures are seldom wrong. good night.'
'good night.'

two days later in the mail i recieved a waterlogged copy of art forum. with the words 'thanks for the read. i'll sea you along the way!' written on the cover. that was the last time i heard from that particular purple crab but, i'm sure it wont be the last.

so, if you are out there lil crab and you read this, i know you will because you are probably good with a computer. please stop by and visit us once more before i say my last good bye. i'm sure it will be pleasant and i promise to listen to every word you say. you are indeed the smartest arthropod i have ever met on any day.

listening to ))) the descendents - Thank You