Friday, March 04, 2005

d2ves continued from d1ves

... i'll do the patty duke and incase you don't remember i can freak a funky beat like the shit was in a blender.

[continued from d1ves]
a small craft warning is out in the harbor and all surrounding coastal communities. the coast guard has lost several vessels in the area and things are looking down for the lost. every once in a while the sea and the city will cull the heard and take a couple for themselves for no reason at all. an unfulfillied ocean is an unforgiving force that knows not the rules of civilized man. just the hunger for destruction and retribution. the city is even worse.

the horse we saw the man about rolled and smoked well. colin and i had just made it to the spot and the first thought that came to mind was 'spidey sense tingling.'

'dude this place looks so skanky.'
'i know'
'so are we gonna do this?'
'sure. is it just me, or do you feel a little like we are getting played?'
'a lil bit but XXX is cool and shit, man. it cant be all bad.'
'famous last words, kid.'
'i know. don't forget to lock the door.'
'aw-ight.' click, slam ...

this dive was a place for locals and when new blood broke the surface tension of the water the sharks began to circle. like the first vulture to a carcass we were joined by a fellow that wanted some cash. he didnt walk up to me, he went right after colin. colin is a tallish white guy who dresses like a rock kid and has the indie hair cut to match. we attempted to walk around to the front. this was a bad idea. the front of the bar was shut permanently and only a dirty side door was open. this made us look like even bigger targets. the guy's insistance on cash was becoming increasingly more aggressive. i reached out to grab colin and do a 180 to the side door. before my hand even got to him he spun around and we ducked in to the bar.

XXX and candy were at the opposite side of the bar with thier friends. colin and i joined them in good cheer. candy drunkenly wobbles up to me and in her best sex kitten voice says...

'so, how do you like it?'
'its quite the bar you brought us to.'
'shhhhhhh dont tell anyone about it. its sooooo cool.'
'trust me i'm not telling anyone about this place. hell sweetie, i barely even want to be here'
we both laugh and rounds are bought for us all.

the scene was full of old men with prison tattoos and old haggard women of questionable virtue. the amount of liver damage in the room was unquestionable. the beers and the tom foolery were flowing quite well at this point and the air seemed ripe with the smell of a pleasant evening. we all sat and drank from mini plastic pitchers of cheap beer on the wrong side of town. just as i became slightly more at ease in max's i hear...

'don't you fuckin do it earl! don't you fuckin do it!'
'dammit that sonofabitch is askin for it!'
'for the last god damn time earl dont you fuckin do it.'

i look over to my left and the well past her prime bartender was reaching across the bar to stop an old weather beaten man from jumping acroos the bar with a bottle after an equally old vato covered in penitentiary ink. it was like a live reading from a scene in BARFLY.

XXX and her friends soon become tired and take off. it is now just colin and i in the lions den. just after they leave. a few more folks from the outside world step in. one was the partner of the guy who 'needed' money. colin and i look at each other with a knowing look, but the beers were still full and there was still some bullshitting to be done. as the clock ticked on and the evening wound down the complexion of the crowd became louder and more angry. more pockets of violence were boiling up in the dark corners of the bar. i even thought i smelled burning heroin. although i am not sure. colin and i both felt our spidey sense tingle once more. we both looked out from our seats at the bar and around the dimly lit room and noticed every eye is on us. i turned around casually to look behind us for alternate exits or maybe a pool cue and saw a guy right ther looking back at us like he was hungry.

the bartender looked at us and told only us. 'last call guys time to go.' she kept looking at us after she spoke in the same way you look at someone you are tipping off to secret. there was a definate undertone of warning to her look. i looked at colin and he said...

'you ready?'
'me too.'

we both got up and very crisply shot out the side door. as we left there was the guy posted up near a dark corner in the street waiting to do the old pick and roll on a couple of rookies from the suburbs, but that didnt go down 'cause i aint no rookie and niether was colin. we made a move on the car and bounced outta there ASAP.

'was that whole night weird?'
'hell yeah.'
'was it just me or did you feel like we were gonna get jacked on several occasions.'
'oh yeah, mos def.'
'holy shit man.'
'you said it brother.'

nervous laughter and punk rock played through broken truck speakers as we shot outta there with a new story for all the would-be dive bar afficionados. four stars ****