Friday, December 03, 2004

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ....................... :( sad lil d. i an asshole?
for the life of me i cant decide weather or not i am the biggest idiot of the year or just a normal guy. lately i have had a number a strange dreams about ex's and long lost friends and i cant regognize any of them as who they are but more like how they feel to me.

for instance, i had a dream that i was together with a girl i went out with when i was 19! random as hell if you ask me, but the reall kicker is that in the dream it was not really andrea (thank god) but it was another much more important person. the part that is buggin me is that i was so stinkin happy in the dream i didnt want to get up.

here is where i feel like a a-hole, i have been away from the relationship thing for a while and goodness knows that i love to love, my ol' ticker has been kicked to shit by the gals and then by me. in most cases the reason for my own acheyness is my own fault. for some reason i always have a fatal shortcoming that seems to kill whatever relationship im in (usually cash related) but insensitivity is usually around too.

so am i an asshole because i feel slighted in the whole thing or am i just a normal guy who is a chronic fuck up when it comes to love? the idea of either disturbs the shit out of me. well at least im not a guy with gold chains and grey chest hair. yet.

what a loser! comment and tell me what you think. pooo