Sunday, July 25, 2004

setting myself UP \m/ (*_*)\m/

the question at hand is have i been setting myself up for failure?

i'm not sure. for years now, since i was 21 or so, i have had this thing. i dont date girls that are too much older or younger (usually 5-4 years or so). now im not sure that this important, but in the recent past i have dated a woman my own age (30ish now) and always thought maybe our ages had something to with where we may be in life and that it may somehow contribute to the chances for long term happiness. hmmmm, was i right? NO. this particular woman was in a diiferent place than me. even though we split for obvious reasons the bottom line seemed to be that she wasnt done with her life, and that was very clear.

so what now? nothing really theses are things that dont really matter. the real question is was my original idea in any way correct? i still dont know. but check this out ...

recently i met a young woman who seemed to really spark my fancy. good enough right? probably... or is it? now i find a once confident man about town, scared to call her, im no looker or am i even very suave(trust me, my ex let me know that when she left) , but i get the job done. i am not sure this is the way i should feel. or is it? i think i may have trained myself to be this way, with an unreal expectation on myself to date within the perscribed direction. is this a case of a man training himself to be less of a man to satisfy the statis quoe? maybe. actually yes... hmmmmm. can i stop the madness? we'll see